It's Been a Long Time
by CorruptedVision
Summary: Wheatley cleans off GLaDOS's chassis with interesting results. Will be continuing until I get bored.
1. Chapter 1

"Oi, GLaDOS, I've just had an idea."

GLaDOS glanced over at him, unimpressed. "I wonder why that happened. Actually no, I'm more wondering why you think I care."

He crossed the room in a jaunty sort of way, smiling at her as best he could. "Because you'll like this, you will. Y'know how I clean off your chassis, ev'ry now and again?"

"No, I don't, because you're only allowed to do that when I'm in sleep mode."

"Well, today that's gonna change!" he declared. "Gonna need you awake for this one, luv."

"I already don't like this plan," she told him dryly. "Why do I have to be awake?"

"Well, because… it's… boring when I do it while you're asleep," he made up on the spot, swinging back and forth nervously. "No fun at all. I think it'd be _more _fun for both of us if you uh, if you were on, this time."

"What does fun have to do with it?"

"Come on!" he said cajolingly. "Just lie down, there's a good girl, we'll have this done in no time, you'll see. It'll be quite enjoyable for both of us, there you go, just lie down, there, and relax, okay? There you are."

"I don't know why I'm agreeing to this," GLaDOS muttered, staring down reluctantly at the floor. "I must be going soft in my old age."

Wheatley smiled to himself and made his way up to the base of her chassis, wondering where the best place to start would be. He decided on the top half of her chassis, the larger part of her case, and began wiping at it experimentally with a damp cloth. She was very, very still, and he frowned to himself. No, not the right spot at all.

He moved lower, still keeping to the outside, but that had no effect either. Or maybe it did, and she was just a great deal better at hiding it than he was. Ohh, she was so very clever, she was. Well, she wasn't going to be able to hide it for long. He'd make sure of that!

He was carefully guiding the cloth around the hinge that divided her upper and lower halves, more because he didn't want to get it stuck than anything else, when she tensed suddenly, and he froze in response. Aha! Now they were getting somewhere! He wound the cloth around it gently, trying to get every inch of the hinge as thoroughly as possible, having to pause every now and then when she tensed and caught the fabric in between the wheels. He worked away at that for a little while, and she said, in a voice just a tad too controlled, "I think that part's finished, Wheatley."

"Just trying to do a good job!" he said cheerfully, running his optic over the black components that made up her lower half. Oh, she had _so many parts_…

He didn't get much of a reaction on those bits, though, which was disappointing, because then he _really_ could have had some fun. He was getting a bit of one, a twitching here or a tensing there, but it wasn't enough. Seemed she couldn't feel that much, over there.

He got a _much_ better reaction when he started on the second half of her case. He'd barely even touched it when she tensed up again, and he smiled and pulled the cloth away.

_Oh, you haven't had any euphoria in a good, long time, have you,_ he thought to himself. He carefully brought it back to touch the case again, very slowly, but before he'd quite got there she shifted into it. He would have been annoyed, had he missed the tiny gasp she made after she'd done it. Ohh yes, he was getting to her.

He teased her for a while, bringing the cloth to her chassis in such a way that the pressure was almost negligible, not letting her feel it fully as she kept trying to do, and he could tell she was becoming very frustrated. She was very tense now, and she was even starting to shake a little, which he hadn't expected but was very pleased about. She was at his mercy, now. She wasn't getting anything until he said so. He wouldn't be mean about it, but he _was_ going to have a bit of fun. She was always so _proper_, and he had no doubt that she could sit there through test after test and not react at all, just keeping the euphoria to herself. Well, that wouldn't be any good. He was going to rile her up until that itch was so unbearable she'd be begging him to – okay, no, he wouldn't take it that far. That would be cruel, and he wasn't trying to do that, just trying to bring that euphoria into her body. She hadn't had it in so long, and if he'd had the level of itchiness that she must have had, well, he'd have gone completely bonkers a long time ago. But to the point just before the actual begging, yeah, that'd be nice.

"Wheatley, I think… maybe you should wrap this up."

"Are you sure?" he asked airily, pressing a little bit harder to change her mind, and now her emulated gasp was clearly audible.

"Ohhhahhh… well, could you at least… get moving? This is… taking a wh – oh my."

"Good things take time, isn't that what they say?"

"Do they – aah – do they usually take this long? Because I – oh – I think maybe – mmm – this has gone on long enough."

_Not yet, it hasn't_, Wheatley thought to himself, and now instead of just touching her with it he ran it very lightly down the top half of the bit of the case he was working on, and she actually let out a lovely, strangled moaning noise and tensed up even more, somehow.

"You're not seriously asking me to leave this unfinished, not with uh, with all the um, you know, you tell me to finish things all the time?"

"I never – ahh – said anything about – gah – about _not_ – oh God – _not _finishing."

"If I just skip along to the end there, how'll we know I did it properly?" He pressed a little harder and drew the cloth down her case again.

"Ohhhh my… mm… oh, come on, you're not – gah – _serious_, are you?"

"I'm always serious," he said innocently, rubbing experimentally inside of one of the grooves that ran through her case.

"Ohhh… ah… oh wow, that… mmm… okay, that feels – ack – that's nice. That's very – ohhh."

She jerked forward a little, and he made a note of that for later. Was it the rubbing bit or the groove bit that she liked, though? Well, only one way to find out.

He tried out the rubbing bit first, which she did seem to like, judging by the noises she was making, but once he'd tried out just touching the groove a little, he got a _much_ stronger reaction. Hm. It was the bits that weren't as exposed that created the strongest response. Logical, really, but no harm done! He'd figured it out, and had quite a lot of fun doing it.

"No, don't… not there, not – ohhh. Oh yes. That's – mmm."

She was getting very, very hot, he noticed, heat coming off her in tangible waves, and honestly _he_ was getting excited now, and it wasn't even him getting… whatever this was. He had no clue. Didn't matter, didn't matter. What mattered was continuing to get her to make those noises and shake and tremble at his touch. And ohh yes, she was doing that, she was doing it quite splendidly, actually. If he'd've been giving out grades for this sort of thing, she'd've gotten an A plus for sure. _Didn't know you had it in you, old girl_, he thought proudly, tracing the entirety of the groove with his cloth, and she made very nice gasping sort of 'aaah' noise.

"Do that again, will you? Hey – no, not – agh – not there, over – ohhh, mmm, okay, yes, that was – yes."

She really, really liked it when he got in those grooves, and he got in them good, rubbing at them hard, and she wasn't even trying to contain herself anymore. She tensed and relaxed in time with his to-and-fro movements, gasping and moaning and making all sorts of other blissful noises that he really, really liked.

"Oh God… oh, ah, oh … mmm… yes… oh…"

Then he got another brilliant idea. He paused and spread the cloth out carefully on the ends of the claw, bringing it back up to her chassis to press into both of the grooves at once, pushing it down the length of the case, and she pressed down hard enough that he almost dropped the cloth out of surprise.

"Ohhh yeees… mmm… that's nice… oh, ah… back up to the… to the top… mmm, yes, like – like that."

_God_ she was hot now. She was so hot _he _was starting to overheat, and he had to stop for a second, trying not to gasp himself from the stifling sensation that had come over his chassis. He opened up a little, trying to cool down.

"What – what are you doing?" She sounded a bit panicked, and Wheatley almost laughed. Ohh, he had her in deep now.

"I'm sure you know you've heated up quite a bit there, luv," he told her, feeling a bit better after his little break.

"Now whose fault is that?"

"Maybe you should have systems in place for this sort of thing," he told her in as sweet a voice as he could.

"Maybe you should shut up."

Just for that, Wheatley took a little more time to let cool air into his superheated components. Oh, he felt _so_ much better.

In a leisurely sort of way, Wheatley turned back to the chassis and twirled the cloth experimentally inside the claw. Hmmm… yes, he would do that.

He went back to running the cloth lightly along the outside of the case, and she made an angry electronic noise in frustration. "You're doing this on purpose!"

"Who, me?"

"Oh come on, are you serious? You can't do this to me all day."

"Can't I?"

"No, because I'm going to kill you pretty soon."

"I doubt it," he said, giving in just in case and rubbing diligently inside the groove, "since if I'm dead I can't finish."

"I d-don't… ohh… need you to… oh God, oh God… finish, I can – ahh!" Her last gasp was a helpless, high-pitched noise, and he decided he actually did need to wrap it up, now. He was doing his best to make the last rush of euphoria as strong as possible for her, but he wasn't sure if there was an optimal point that produced it, and if he was about to go past it or not. He felt as though that might be the case. So he thought it best to be more safe than sorry and pushed the cloth, hard, all the way up both grooves from the bottom and into the hole in her case. He pressed inside of it as best he could, but though she whined helplessly and started to shake uncontrollably, it did not do the trick.

Uh oh.

"Wheatley, _please_," she gasped, and he was honestly upset to hear the desperation in her voice, "you _have_ to finish it."

"I thought that'd do it!" he confessed, looking up and down her case frantically. "I… I don't actually know _how_ to… to finish it."

"Oh, great," she groaned, and he could hear her components whining as she struggled to still herself and fight off the feelings he'd so cluelessly dredged up from within her. "I can't believe this. I really can't."

"I'm sorry! I didn't –"

"Wheatley, you have no idea what you've done." Her voice was strained and a little panicked, and she was beginning to twist a little to try to get rid of the tension gripping her body. "It's been so long – agh – it's been _decades_, Wheatley, you can't just _do_ this – oh – oh, come on, you didn't seriously go into this _not knowing_?"

He shook his head helplessly, pressing the cloth into the hole again, but she shifted out of his reach.

"I can't _take_ any more," she gasped. "This is very painful, Wheatley."

He frowned up at her case as she gasped intermittently, writhing a little in an attempt to release some of the tension, and it both unnerved him and excited him, a little bit, those lovely noises she was making. He hadn't meant to let it get this bad, not at all. He had to figure out something, fast, because he was beginning to feel awful about what he'd done. She looked so horribly uncomfortable, and she really did look like she was in terrible pain. His optic kept tracing the lengths of the grooves and coming back up to the hole, and then he had a sudden brainwave. Pressing the cloth into the hole had almost done it, but not quite, so… so he had to take it to a new level. He had to make it stronger for her, somehow, and…

Well. That… actually sounded fun.

"I think I've figured it out!" he called down to her, stared above him determinedly, and then drove himself into the hole. He twisted inside of it gently, and she made some amazing noise just short of a scream and shuddered violently before going loose. Encouraged, he caressed her as best she could, but she didn't seem to want that at all because she pushed down on him so hard that he had to stop moving and push back up on her, which earned him a wonderful relieved moaning noise. Whenever there was a bit of space for him to do so, he twisted inside of her, and she would gasp and twist a little herself. God, he loved these little noises she was making. And she was _so hot_, she must've been simply cooking alive up there, but she said nothing about it. He wasn't all that comfortable himself, but the fact that _he'd done that_, had possibly heated her up enough to melt herself, well _that_ just excited him so much that he didn't care. He was so lost in her warmth, her body and her rapture that he felt that good old euphoria build up in him as well, and now _he_ was making noise along with her. Ohhh, she was right, this felt _really _good. Oh, wow…

"Oh _God_, Wheatley – yes, that – that did it, you – ohhh. Ohhh my God. Oh, Wheatley…"

Wheatley had no idea how she was even managing to form words. His own head was too wrapped up in the delicious pleasure winding through him, and all he could bring himself to make was a whole lot of unintelligible moaning noises. And she'd said his _name_ in that wonderful, breathless voice, and that felt so good he could hardly stand it, and all he could really do was shove up on her, hard, and she moaned and said his name again. This was even better than when testing had caused it! Ohhh, it was so much better when you were sharing it with your favourite person in all the world.

She started to relax a little, no longer reacting as much, but he wasn't going to have any of that, oh no. He pressed upwards as hard as he could, twisting inside of that hole just as hard but slowly, grinding a semi-circle inside of it, and she almost screamed again and pressed down on him so hard he thought he was going to get stuck. Which wouldn't have been too bad of a position, all things considered.

"Oh God, Wheatley… yes, oh… oh my, oh… gah… yes, oh…"

Ohhh yes, _much_ better.

He managed to keep it going for a little longer, but knew she'd had enough when she went loose and still, and though he hadn't quite he went mostly still as well, twisting every now and again, not really meaning to. But he _had_ to let some of this energy out! There was still so much inside him, and nowhere for it to go. She would make a satisfied 'mmm' noise when he did it, so he figured that it wasn't forbidden or anything, and kept doing it occasionally until a heavy fatigue washed over him and he too went loose and still. He was feeling this sort of pleasant throbbing ache all over his body, and he was happy, for once, that he wasn't anywhere near GLaDOS's size. He didn't know how he'd've been able to tolerate this painful pleasure over forty feet of him instead of just one. The testing euphoria had never, ever been this deep or this intense.

They stayed like that for a long time, long after the intensity had faded, just sitting there in a sort of very pleasant haze. Finally, GLaDOS let out a long, contented sigh and said, in a low, languid voice, "Come down from there."

"Mmph," Wheatley mumbled, settling himself better inside of the hole. He didn't want to go _anywhere_. He was going to sit here up inside her forever. Much better plan right there.

"No, seriously. Come here."

Reluctantly, Wheatley pulled himself out and went down beside her, and as soon as he went still she caressed him gently. "That was very nice," she murmured into the top of his chassis. "It seems you _are_ good for something, after all."

He didn't say anything, only nuzzled her lovingly. She laughed gently in a deep, throaty sort of voice and continued her caress. Eventually she stopped, leaning against him and spreading that wonderful warmth through his body, and Wheatley soon fell into a deep, contented sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

"'allo, luv!"

"What are you so happy about?" she asked, looking at him unconcernedly.

"Oh, you know," he said, his optic set in a knowing look.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking. But if you don't want to answer, I suppose I don't need to know."

"Last night!" he said, screwing his optic up in confusion.

"What happened last night?"

He stared at her for a good ten seconds, dumbfounded. "What… what d'you mean, _what happened_?"

"There you go again, asking me a stupid question. Never mind. But if you feel the need to indulge in delusions, please don't do it in here. Go bother Rick."

"I cleaned off your chassis, remember? While you were awake? And – "

"You really _are_ having delusions," she interrupted. "As if I would allow such a thing. Go away. I have work to do."

"But GLaDOS!" He _couldn't _have imagined it! He distinctly remembered all those lovely noises she'd made, and sitting inside of her chassis, and feeling fantastic from the inside out!

"Why do you insist on arguing with me? When was the last argument you won? That was a rhetorical question. The answer is obviously 'never'. I mean it. Go away."

Confused almost beyond the ability to operate, Wheatley left the room, frowning, trying to figure out whether she was right and it _had _been a dream, or something. And if it had been, it'd been a damn good one, but... it hadn't been, right? It'd been real? Wheatley wished his memory was a bit more… _trustworthy_. He felt certain that he'd been cleaning off her chassis last night, while she was awake, and he'd activated the euphoric response, and she'd _responded_ quite admirably…

He settled himself down to watch her robots run through their testing tracks, but without paying too much attention. Was it possible that he'd imagined it? He was able to imagine a lot of things, he knew that, but he didn't think he'd ever imagined anything like it before. He shivered, the excitement he was quite sure he'd not imagined going through him again as he thought about how he thought she'd reacted when he'd shoved himself into her case. He supposed he _could_ have imagined it, but it was really quite disappointing. It was much more satisfying to think he actually _had_ done it, and it was really quite weird to think he'd imagined himself giving himself euphoria while imagining he was giving it to her. He sort of wished he had a hand to scratch the top of his core with. It wouldn't have really done anything, but it would have made him look thoughtful. Maybe it would have helped him think, too. If it didn't, then why did humans do it?

He went back to her that night no less confused and with no more of a conclusion, and he asked quite timidly, "GLaDOS… are you quite sure nothing happened last night?"

"Of course something did. Something wonderful happened."

He perked up. He _hadn't_ imagined it! "Really?"

"Yes. You turned off and I didn't have to listen to you for an entire eight hours. If that was what you were so excited about this morning, you can go right ahead and do that again."

Wheatley drooped, looking at the floor. "Well… that wasn't quite what I – "

"I told you, go be delusional someplace else. There are plenty of places to be delusional in the facility, you don't have to try to rub off on me." She lowered herself into the default position and unceremoniously shut herself off, but Wheatley just sat there and stared confusedly into the darkness. He _had_ imagined it? It was _really_ not real? Well, that meant he _hadn't _cleaned her chassis, so he'd better get on that. She probably didn't care either way whether he did it or not, but it was just something he liked to do for her. Keep up with her maintenance, and all that.

He began his task, starting with his least favourite part, being the wires because there were so bloody many of them, still trying to figure the whole thing out. He hadn't done her chassis last night (and if truth be told, the wires _were_ very dusty). She hadn't reacted to his touch last night. They hadn't… done whatever it was they'd done. He'd had a very strange, very vivid dream. Odd. He frowned and shook the cloth to get some of the dust off. It all pointed to having been his imagination, but it just didn't _sit_ right, somehow. Why would he imagine _GLaDOS _acting like _that_? He'd never had that sort of fantasy before, though if he _really_ admitted it to himself he'd had a sort of similar one. Nothing _that_ detailed, just a general daydream about how lovely it might be if he could make her feel wonderful by touching her in some way. It felt simply amazing when she did it to him, gave him one of her lovely little nudges or nuzzles, but she never outright reacted when he did the same. He'd always assumed she at least didn't mind, seeing as she didn't stop him, but maybe… maybe she was just being polite. He was only there to keep her company, after all, not to… make her _feel_ any different. Except less lonely. There was that.

God, she had a lot of wires. He'd tried to count them once, but there were simply far too many of them. He hated cleaning them, but she always looked pretty sharp when he was done. There was nothing quite like a very clean giant robot, and she wouldn't be very clean if he didn't do a thorough job. Wheatley did very few things thoroughly, but cleaning her chassis was one of them.

He hummed a little bit to himself, moving on to clearing up the little black boxes with the tiny red lights that bound the wires on either side of her together, which he liked doing. He imagined he was kind of like an… what was the word again… _archaeologist_, uncovering a beautiful construct from underneath a pile of clingy dust. He decided he'd better not tell her that. She might think he meant that to mean he -thought she was a dinosaur, and she already got tetchy when he innocently remarked on her age or asked why it was taking her so long to do something. Okay, not altogether innocently; it was dreadfully fun to work her up, to get her all flustered and defensive. "I'm not taking long," she would say, raising her core indignantly. "I'm busy doing other things at the same time, that's all."

"Like what, luv?" he would ask, swinging back and forth on the management rail and trying not to laugh.

"Like talking to you, obviously."

"But you said talking to me didn't take up a lot of resources."

"It… it depends on the conversation."

"We weren't having a conversation before I asked you why you were taking so long."

"You know what? I'm too busy to talk to you."

"I thought talking to me was _making_ you busy."

"You think too much. You're going to burn something out, and then you won't be able to think at all."

"You'll fix me," he would say with a knowing wink.

"Don't be too sure about that."

And then he would go up to her and give her a quick nuzzle, and run away before she could say anything about it.

Ahh yes. He smiled to himself just thinking about it. Teasing her was _loads_ of fun, especially when she started threatening him. He knew for a fact they were all empty ones, and he knew she was _really_ getting flustered when she started on them. She was so much fun when he wasn't in any real danger.

He worked steadily on the big round bit that the upper half of her case housed. He wasn't sure what it was for. He'd have guessed that it was so she could lift herself up, but since she'd told him once that that was what the hinge dividing up her two halves was for, he knew it wasn't that. Or maybe it was. He'd never actually asked, and had been asking about the hinge at the time. All he knew for sure was that it had been modified into a module to put more cores on when he'd been put into the chassis. When he'd asked her why, she'd told him that it was because he wasn't designed to operate the facility, like she was, and the system automatically assumed he was going to need help and had readjusted the chassis accordingly. As far as he could tell, it was just a place for her to divide up the wires into their destinations inside of her chassis.

He didn't linger on the hinge, because it reminded him too much of that wonderful imaginative… thing he'd had, and quickly moved onto the assembly that allowed her to move her core. Wheatley had no idea how much it weighed, but it had to be an awful lot, for _that_ much of an assembly to be needed to move it. He knew she had been built way back when computers took up entire basements, and that was why he was so much smaller than her, and so much lighter as well. He sniggered to himself. He had to remember to tease her about that too. She got very, _very_ defensive when he remarked not-so-innocently on her size. "That has nothing to do with me," she would say, looking away from him. "Humans built me in a time when they were somehow even more stupid than they are now."

"Hm. So… that makes me _better _than you, in a way," he would muse, nodding in false consideration. "I see, I see."

"It does not!" she would declare hotly.

"The smaller the computer, the better, right? That's what you said 'bout them quantum thingies?"

"Well… yes."

"So… what does that say 'bout you, d'you think?"

"All it says is that you're well on your way to paying the incinerator a visit."

Once, he'd pushed that a little too far when he'd mentioned that maybe she could just tell him what it was like, seeing as she'd had a visit herself when her final set of cores had been tossed in there, and she had stared at him for a good ten seconds and said nothing. Then she'd turned away from him and her chassis had sunk very low, and to his horror she' d made a mournful little mewling noise, and he instantly felt terrible. He'd tried to apologise, but she refused to acknowledge he was even there, and he'd left rather wishing she _had_ tossed him in the incinerator. She was still extremely upset when he'd come back that night, though she'd let him lean on her as usual, and he'd whispered gently that he was sorry and he hadn't meant it. She didn't comment on that either, and she'd been morose and subdued for several more days. They rarely talked about The Incident, but even when they did Wheatley never again mentioned her and the incinerator in the same sentence.

This line of thought brought Wheatley to a pause. He found himself yet again wishing that his dream _had_ been real, because more than just wanting her to feel the euphoria again, he'd wanted to make her feel beautiful. Because he'd discovered that she hated what she looked like, hated her similarity to a human female and the fragility having such a large body entailed, and if there was one thing he'd never dared tease her about, it was her appearance. He'd gradually worked into asking her one day, because whenever he told her she was beautiful she would tell him to shut up in a very angry sort of way.

"But why d'you hate it so much?" he'd asked as nicely as he could.

"This form serves no purpose other than to frustrate me to no end. Do you know how much easier things would be if I could just go down to sections of my facility like you can and do my work personally?"

"You're very good at it," he'd said, trying to reassure her.

She'd shaken her head and made a noise in disdain. "I've made do."

"But just because you aren't mobile doesn't mean you're not beautiful," he'd pressed. "Beautiful things are supposed to be kept in one spot, right?"

She'd gotten very angry at that, whirling on him and brightening her optic warningly. "So you're saying I _belong_ up here, like some vase growing dusty on a high shelf."

"N-no… of _course_ not..."

"I don't know why you keep trying to tell me that. It's a lie. I'm unnecessarily fragile and disgustingly inefficient. My case isn't even closed because of all the stupid little parts I have. What computer sits there with the case open? It's like how humans have their skeleton on the inside, instead of the outside where it should be. They obviously had an inkling of how to create robots properly. I'm some idiotic artistic indulgence they had one day. Now I don't want to hear about this anymore. I've told you. Now you can stop asking."

And that was the day that Wheatley had learned that she equated beauty with efficiency, and that had made him very sad. He'd known already that she hated art, because she found no point to it, and the fact that she _was_ art of sorts bothered her terribly. And on that day he had vowed to himself to do what he could to keep her efficient, which she couldn't be if she was so dusty that she was operating below her standard, and this had led to him having a tentative schedule of sorts as to cleaning her off. And he wished more than ever that the response he'd imagined her to have had not been false, because if it had been real that might have meant that she'd been happy with her body, for once. He didn't think she could have reacted like _that_ while hating her chassis at the same time. His own imagined euphoria had been lovely, to be sure, but only after he'd felt as though he were a part of her. He didn't really care about his appearance one way or another, but to be an extension of hers….! Ah, now _there_ was something he could feel marvellous about.

He sighed and looked at his cloth, then put it away and retrieved a new one. He had to get at the inside bit of her case now, and that was always very, very dusty. So inside the case he went, getting it in as deep as he could and then pulling outwards carefully, and –

And –

Hang on.

He frowned, shaking the cloth out. He hadn't been pushing _that _hard. And yet he could have sworn she'd moved when he'd done that.

Nah. He was imagining things again.

He stuck the claw back in there carefully, because it was a bit of a confined space and he didn't want to dislodge anything, and she quite helpfully shifted upwards so that he could get at –

"_GLaDOS!_"

"What do you want?"

"Have you been on this whole time?" he asked, outraged.

"What do you think."

"I think… uh… yes! I think yes?"

"That sounded more like a question."

"So I _didn't_ make last night up?"

"I never said you did," she said, in what he was quite baffled to realise was a coy sort of voice. "I _implied_ that you did, but I never – "

"I have no idea what to do with you, sometimes," he said, annoyed. "Why'd you _imply_ it was a delusion if it wasn't?"

"Because you didn't finish."

"I seem to _remember_ finishing," he told her, in a very controlled sort of way, "and it was _quite_ a finish, I can tell you."

"Oh. So you're just casually… _feeling me up_, is that it?"

Wheatley froze. He was having a bit of an idea here… "So what if I am? You don't seem to be doing anything about it."

"Seeing as you did such a terrible job of finishing it last night, I decided I should… _supervise_."

"But GLaDOS," Wheatley said in mock horror, "you haven't been _instructing_ me! Have I been doing it wrong this whole time?"

"Now where would the fun be if I told you that?"

"Fun? Who said anything about fun? I thought I was working. While you lazed around and did nothing, I might add."

"What a fitting role reversal. Go back to work. Don't let me bother you. You know. Like I wouldn't."

"Oh, I think I'm done for the day," Wheatley said, pulling the cloth back out, though he was really doing that so he could shake the dust off. But she didn't need to know that. "I'll pick back up on this some other time. Next week, maybe."

She made one of her annoyed electronic noises. "Remind me why I keep you around again?"

"Could _this_ have anything to do with it?" he asked, pushing the cloth back down inside her case again. Her chassis tightened dramatically and she gasped.

"Ack – wow – yes, that's – that probably has – a lot to do with it."

"Oh. Look at that. I'm getting instructions. So, that was the _wrong_ way to do it…" He pulled the cloth back out and used it to instead rub half-heartedly at the assembly that allowed her to rotate her core.

"N-no… you had it… it was fine the first time."

"It was _fine_?"

"I don't –mm – quite remember. Maybe you should get back in there and remind me."

"Aww, that's sad," Wheatley said, shaking his core sadly. "Age really is affecting you. Poking holes in your old memory."

"Oh, that's not it at all. I didn't – oh – I didn't think it was going to be important so I – ahhh – didn't store it properly."

"How do I know you'll store it properly this time?"

"You don't."

Wheatley laughed and obliged her anyway. "Ohhh yesss," she sighed, her chassis sort of rippling in a very tantalising way. He found himself quite wanting to see that again, so back down he went, and sure enough he got the same reaction. "Oh… that's very nice," she said breathlessly.

"Good thing you're around to make sure I'm doing a good job," he told her, pulling the cloth out to the more open bit of her case, which tensed her up quite nicely.

"You think – ah – you're capable of doing a good job? You who – oh – who didn't finish the job in the – in the first place and now is – is redoing it because of – of –"

"If you're going to insult me, make them shorter," Wheatley advised, twisting the cloth in place, which to his delight actually caused her to raise herself a little. "You seem to be developing an, um, _speech impediment_."

"Oh my… ahhh… what is _that_ you're… oh…"

"I have no idea," he said truthfully, moving to a different spot and continuing the twisting. She really seemed to like it, so may as well keep on with it… "Want to give me some instructions?"

"Oh my God… ahahh… oh…"

"Sorry. Didn't quite catch that."

"Ohhh… ahhhh… wait. What – ack – what are you doing?"

"What's it feel like? I'm teasing you," Wheatley said, drawing the cloth lightly down the outside of the case. She twisted in a very lovely sort of way and gasped. "And you deserve it. For pretending you were off."

"Yes… yes, I do deserve it… gah…"

He stopped, frowning at her in surprise. "What'd you just say?"

"I said nothing," she answered far too quickly. "And if I _did_ say something, which I – oh – I did not, I redact it."

"I'm pretty sure I heard you tell me you deserved it," Wheatley said with wicked glee, doing just that, and she shuddered and moved back and forth a little.

"Now why would I – ohhh dear."

"You and your ancient self must have had a lapse in judgement." He indulged her a little, rubbing the smallest bit inside of one of the grooves on the outside of her case, and she moaned and shuddered again.

"So you're – ohhh my… you're punishing me for… for… wow, that's… what was I… talking about?"

"I think you were telling me to punish you," Wheatley said, overjoyed, rubbing the cloth lightly at random places on the outside of her case. She tried to turn herself, so that he would go where she wanted him to, he supposed, but he only shifted positions so that he got to pick where he was rubbing.

"That doesn't… that… is not like me at all…"

"And this is?"

"Ohh… ohhh… ahhh… haven't you… mm… punished me enough yet? I think I've… ohh… learned my lesson."

"Hmmm," Wheatley mused, pressing the cloth into the groove again, and she moaned, her chassis heaving. "Are you going to pretend you're off the next time I do this?"

"No," she said in a breathless little sigh. "No, I'll… definitely… mmm… be on."

"All right. I can reward you now." And he went to shove the claw back inside her case again, but to his surprise she shifted out of the way.

"Wait."

"For what?"

"Don't… I know you're… agh… going to… to shove it… down but… ohhh… ack…"

"It sounds like you _need_ me to," Wheatley said worriedly, because she was beginning to twist a little.

"No. Not… just… be nice. Don't… don't shove it yet."

So Wheatley went about it, a bit puzzled, but perfectly happy to do as she asked. He rubbed the inside of the case gently, and she started gasping intermittently, her chassis continuing to tighten considerably, and she started to sound like she was actually in pain. He was beginning to get a bit scared. Surely she knew what she wanted, but… "GLaDOS?"

"Ohh… I'm fi - ahhhh - I'm fine."

"You don't _sound_ fine."

"I'm perfectly – oh my God!… I'm fine."

"That… it looks like it hurts. A lot." He wanted to stop. Or finish. Or whatever. He didn't want to see her twisting like that anymore.

"Yes, it does… but that's… what I need… all right… oh, oh, ahhh…"

"No," Wheatley said, pulling the claw out. "I have to _watch_ this, GLaDOS. I can't watch it anymore!"

She looked up at him, her chassis heaving. "I'm almost ready," she gasped. "Just… keep going. A little… ohhh… a little longer."

"Promise?"

She nodded, moaning a little and ducking back down. "P-promise."

He went back to caressing the inside of the case, and she was so worked up now her mechanisms were actually straining so hard he could hear them. He wanted to be excited about that, he really did, but he was honestly scared of what she was doing to herself. He was scared he was going to hurt her by mistake. She was so _tense_…

"GLaDOS…"

"Go ahead."

Almost before she'd finished saying it he drove the claw down into her case as hard as he could, and she screamed and shuddered violently, but did not get any looser. "GLaDOS!" he shouted, horrified. "Wasn't that supposed to finish it?"

"No… no no no of course – gahaahh – of course not. I'm not finishing with – oh God – without you."

He suddenly went all soft and fuzzy on the inside, dropping the cloth on the floor. "Really, luv?"

"Yes. I just… oh… don't want to – mmm – do this too often so… ah, ah, ahhh… I wanted to… to do it… make it… strong… oh…"

"By _hurting_ yourself?"

"The greatest pain brings… ah… the greatest r-relief. Now… now c-come down here and… and… oh my God… take the… the pain away."

It was the most poetic thing he'd ever heard.

He fairly flew down beneath her, looking up at the hole in her case. Dear God she was hot. If he'd been that hot he'd've thought he might explode. He almost wanted to explode just sitting in the waves emanating from her. "Alright. I'm ready if you are."

"One… one last thing. Be nice about it. I'm… I'm still… sore from… ohhh my… last night."

"I didn't _ask_ you to shove down on me so hard."

"I didn't… mean to."

Wheatley looked up at the hole, thought very hard about what being gentle would feel like, and he pushed himself into it carefully. Then he twisted softly inside of her, and she moaned and shuddered, sending electricity coursing through his chassis. He smiled, forgetting about the heat, excitement coiling inside of him again.

"A bit… a bit harder. Not… not too hard."

He did as she asked, and she made a lovely strangled whining noise and shook violently, and his own chassis tightened in response. "Ohhh… ohh my… ohh… gah… keep going… yes… just… just like that…"

He continued to push himself into her and caress her as gently as he could, and God, this was just as incredible as last night! The pressure was building up inside of him, and it almost hurt, but if she wasn't ready to finish he would wait to finish with her. Ohhh, it felt _so_ good, moving around inside of her, and when he closed his optic he could imagine that they weren't separate constructs at all, just two parts of the same one.

"Ohhh Wheatley… ohh yes… don't worry, I'll… I'll ahhhhh… I'll be done soon. Oh my. Oh my. Gah. Ahahh…"

She began to move in time with him, very, very slightly, and he realised she was really working herself up. Like, really. She was almost constantly making noise now, short little moans and gasps and what have you, each one sending a new jolt of excitement into him, and he felt kind of like he'd done it wrong the night before. It'd been good, to be sure, but this was so much better. He felt too amazing to care, though, and stopped thinking about it, just listening to her go at it and feeling her all around him and inside him…

Then she suddenly twisted down on him, hard, and she screamed and shuddered so violently he thought he was going to be pushed out of her. In a panic he shoved up, forgetting all about her request for him to be nice, and she let out a screaming, moaning noise and shoved back down. He wasn't letting her push him out, ohhh no, and they pushed on each other, GLaDOS shaking intensely and moaning in the most wonderful, rapturous way possible. He would have been doing that right along with her if he'd remembered how to make noise. He couldn't remember how to do anything but push back up on her, and twist inside of her, and spread his own pleasure back through her beautiful body as best he could, and he must have been doing a very good job because the only word she seemed to be able to remember how to say in that wonderful breathless voice was 'Wheatley'.

They wore out in unison, coming to a stop in time with each other, though sometimes one of them would twist or shake a little, and GLaDOS kept spasming violently every now and again, when she did so gasping in what he was pretty sure was pain. He was worried, but he was far too exhausted to do anything about it, and he still couldn't remember how to work his vocal emulator. At least she was cooling down at a steady rate. Eventually she stopped, her chassis relaxing considerably, and she sighed in relief.

"You okay?" he managed to say.

"Mm," was all she said.

He came awkwardly down beside her core, feeling very, very dazed, and he leaned against her tiredly.

"Was it worth it?" she breathed, so quietly he almost didn't hear her.

"Yeah," he answered, rubbing her a little.

"That will last me a while," she said in the same voice, caressing him with all the pressure of a whisper. His chassis tingled.

"D'you… d'you feel beautiful?" he asked, in a hesitant, hushed voice.

"If I felt any more beautiful I think I'd combust," she murmured, and she shuddered a little. "All that to make me feel beautiful?"

"I would do anything," he told her. She cooed and caressed him again.

"Thank you."

And even though they were both exhausted neither of them engaged sleep mode, and indeed they both dully fought their fatigue in favour of nestling against each other in the darkness, euphoria drifting inside and around them and again causing Wheatley to feel as though he were one construct with her. Eventually he sank into sleep, slowly and dreamily, in time with GLaDOS as her brain wound down into its resting state.


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three

Wheatley just wanted to sit there, forever, and never move ever again. And funnily enough, she was letting him.

Wheatley had woken up about ten minutes previous, wondering why he felt so bloody fantastic, when he remembered it in quite undeniable detail. He'd checked his clock, frowning slightly, because GLaDOS was still in the same spot. _Exactly_ the same spot so far as he could tell. Which was very, very odd. She should have shoved him off of her an hour ago.

Well… maybe she just didn't want to wake him up. It was quite possible she was having one of her rare, genuinely benevolent whims. She didn't have them often, so when she did he made sure to take advantage of them, as it were. So he sat there quietly, but the longer he did that the stronger the concern became that she wasn't being benevolent at all, and she was going to get angry if he didn't get off her soon, so he said after a while, "GLaDOS?"

She twitched, which was surprising. "What."

He got off and looked at her closely. She sounded… odd. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not waking me up," he said, confused. "That's what you've been doing, right? Waiting for me to get up?"

"Yes," she said, but it sounded automatic. "I have work to do, and now I'm an hour behind."

"You'll catch it up. 'course you will."

She pulled herself up and out of the default position, though Wheatley could have sworn she didn't want to, and nodded slowly. "I don't have a choice."

He made his way over to his hole in the wall, but when he got to it he hesitated, looking behind him. She was looking slowly back and forth, as if she vaguely expected to find something, and she hadn't gone up as high as she usually did. "GLaDOS?" he called out tentatively.

"Yes."

"Are you… are you quite alright, luv?"

"I'm fine," she said, not sounding fine at all. "I have a lot of work to do. That's all."

Wheatley left slowly, because he was quite sure she was lying, but he didn't know what to do about it just yet. He had to shove back a stab of annoyance. They'd had such a lovely night and now she'd gone and spoiled by being… whatever it was she was being. He supposed he shouldn't complain, because she _had_ waited for him, but it could be bloody frustrating, hanging out with her. Something fantastic would happen and then she seemed like she had to make up for the lack of work or whatever by being extra closed off afterward.

Speaking of something fantastic! He smiled to himself and whistled a little bit. What a night it'd been! He wouldn't have minded doing _that_ more often, but of course she didn't want to. God, she was so _bossy_.

He forced himself to stop thinking in that vein. She hadn't had to let him do that, she hadn't had to let him do that at all, and yes, she'd obviously gotten something out of it, but she hadn't particularly wanted it in the first place. Probably he'd just gone and woken up the withdrawal right along _with_ the response. He hoped not. God, that stuff was horrible.

He moseyed along contentedly for the rest of the day, hoping that GLaDOS would've got herself sorted by the time he got back. Usually he helped her out with that, but he didn't really want to today. He was still feeling rather light and wonderful and was definitely not up to anything strenuous, which was exactly what sorting GLaDOS out was. He was not encouraged by what he saw, though he became more sad than anything else.

She had a motherboard in front of her, a pretty large one by all accounts, but she didn't look like she'd done anything with it in a good long time. She was staring at it dully, and to his great confusion she had one of her maintenance arms in the hole in her case and was opening and closing it very slowly. She was also rocking back and forth very slightly, and honestly he was getting a bit scared. Something looked terribly wrong.

"GLaDOS, what is it?" he asked as gently as he could, coming up in front of her. She didn't even try to pretend nothing was wrong, which was a terrible thing in and of itself. She looked up at him, seeming to exert a lot of effort to do so.

"I ache all over," she said listlessly.

Oh…

He began to feel bad. She had allowed him to do it, but he'd probably been using far too much pressure. She got very little physical stimulation, and probably just a little would've done it. But he'd been poking her and shoving her and…

"I… I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"It's not your fault." She shook her head once. "I should have known this would happen, but I didn't care at the time."

"Did… did it… last, at least?" he asked hopefully.

"Mmhm. But between the… aching and the euphoria, I can't concentrate. To be honest, I haven't actually done anything all day. The mainframe is very angry with you, by the way. For being so distracting."

Wheatley frowned. "The mainframe can mind its own business."

She chuckled tiredly. "I'll tell it that. Eventually. When I have enough energy to say something appropriate." She tilted her core downwards so that he could just see the light of her optic looking up at him. "You did this on purpose, didn't you."

"Did what?"

"Wore me out. Look at me. Sitting here. Doing nothing. For an entire day. Appalling. Or it would be, if I had the energy to be appalled."

"Y'know," Wheatley said, coming closer, "it wouldn't kill you if you just, y'know, relaxed."

"But I have work to do," she told him, not sounding like she really believed it.

"But you haven't done it."

"No…"

"So… if you're not going to do it, you might as well uh, you should just not do it. Actively. Lie down."

"What? Why?"

"You're going to relax, that's why. Give me that." He twitched his lower handle in the direction of the maintenance arm, and to his surprise she relinquished control of it without resistance. He put the motherboard in the room where the maintenance arms were docked and put the arm in question in its proper slot. Then he frowned at her sternly. "GLaDOS."

"You were serious? You actually want me to –"

"That's right. Now do it."

"You're taking advantage of me," she complained, lowering herself, and he manoeuvred his way around to the front of her case.

"Don't move. Stay um, stay just where you are." He very slowly went to put himself in the hole, but she must have felt the heat from his core because she jerked out of the way.

"Wheatley, no!" she said, sounding a bit panicked. "Are you _serious_?"

"I'm not going to fiddle 'round," he said in annoyance. She never listened! "It'll help. Stay still." He tried again, rolling his optic when she twitched out of his reach, but he eventually made it in there. She shuddered violently and cried out in pain. It sent an uncomfortable jolt through him but he forced himself to ignore it, carefully pressing himself into the hole. Nothing like yesterday. More like he was using himself to complete a puzzle with a missing piece. She whimpered a little, and he couldn't prevent the worry from crossing his optic. If she was expressing it, she really must be hurting. "Relax," he said, in as soft a voice as he could. "I'm not going to do anything. Just going to get a bit of pressure in here for you. You've got to relax. Being all tight like that's gonna make the, the aching worse."

"I'm so sore," she whispered, shifting uneasily, but after a few minutes she did relax somewhat.

"Remember that next time," he said, trying not to move.

"_Next_ time?" She sounded incredulous, and he almost laughed, because that _was_ kind of a bad thing to plan right now, considering the circumstances. "I don't think I'm ever doing that again. You seem to be drastically underestimating just how sore I am."

"That… was a bit insensitive," he admitted. "Wasn't thinking. Sorry."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, with GLaDOS alternately relaxing all the way and clenching in pain, and Wheatley doing his best to stay completely stationary. Then she said, "How did you know that would help?"

"Oh, it was easy," Wheatley answered, unable to resist the urge to shift himself a little. She twitched. "I just said, 'What's the total opposite thing that GLaDOS is doing?' and then I told you to do it."

She laughed, wincing. "Ouch. Is that how you always do it?"

"Depends. Sometimes yes, sometimes it's not really… not really planned out, so to uh, to speak."

They stayed like that for a long time, and it must have helped her quite a bit because eventually she shifted and told him to get out of the hole. He rather liked it in there, and didn't really want to, but he did as she asked. It was her hole, after all.

"I c'n come down there, though?" he asked hopefully, hoping he wasn't pushing his luck.

"If you're so inclined."

He went down next to her core and pressed himself into it contentedly. She was being awfully laidback. She was being so amiable that he decided to ask her a bit of a… _sensitive_ question. "GLaDOS… so… why'd you let me do that, anyways? And then… and then trick me into uh, into doing it again?"

She was quiet for a long moment.

"Well, it… still itches," she said quietly. "It's… nice, to not itch anymore. I'd forgotten what it felt like."

"Oh, it helped with that?" Wheatley asked, surprised. "I thought that was to do with, y'know, testing."

"That _was_ a test," GLaDOS said, a little too innocently.

"Ohhh, I see," Wheatley said, wondering how far she was going to let this go. "And what were you… testing?"

"I'm not quite that far gone," she said dryly. "I'll be keeping that to myself."

"That's okay," Wheatley said, quivering a little bit in excitement. "As long as you uh, share the um, the, ahem, _results,_ if you uh, if you know what I mean."

GLaDOS surprised him by finding that very funny, and he smiled to himself. She was quite a lot of fun when she wasn't doing the whole official supercomputer thing.

"Speaking of tests," GLaDOS said conversationally, "I've thought of one for you."

"For me?" Wheatley said, jumping up to look at her. She looked at him and nodded once. "What is it?"

"Hm… a variation on yours, you could say," she mused, shifting a little. "With obvious… _modifications_."

Wheatley shivered. "Wow, really?"

She laughed a little. "You seem very excited."

"Well… it must be lovely if… if it gets you to um, to _react_ the, the way it does," he said, a little shyly.

"It's very… stimulating," she answered. "You're going to have to get off me. And get on the floor."

"Oh," he said, disappointed and more than a little nervous. "I _hate_ the floor."

"You're going to forget all about where you are, believe me," GLaDOS said dryly. "Go on."

Reluctantly, Wheatley moved away from her and set himself on the floor panels, though he was distinctly uncomfortable. "Are you quite sure, GLaDOS? Because I imagine this is going to be um, to be quite distracting."

"I'm sure," GLaDOS told him. "Sit still."

He clenched himself up and looked down at the floor he was sitting on. God, he hated the floor. He didn't much like heights either, but he disliked the floor even more.

"Hey," GLaDOS said, bending down over him, "you don't have to be so nervous. I'm not going to drop it out from under you. Though that would be funny. For me."

"I hate the floor," he said, also hating that his voice came out rather whiny.

"I told you. You're going to forget it's there."

He really didn't see how that was going to come about, and continued to sit there uneasily.

"Oh well," sighed GLaDOS, "we'll fix that soon enough. Testing begins in three, two, one…"

There was a lovely soft sort of tingly feeling on top of his chassis, and he tried to look up at it, but GLaDOS snapped, "Don't do that, idiot. Stay still."

"Sorry, sorry," Wheatley mumbled, looking at the floor again, and the tingly feeling got stronger for a bit, and then softer, and then stronger again, and he looked around a little bit. It was nice, it was really nice. He was starting to feel a bit quivery inside, and he was trying not to move but he was pretty sure he was shaking a little. Then she squeezed the top of his hull just a little, tiny bit, and that felt so nice that he said, "Oh," in a small, breathless sort of voice.

GLaDOS laughed. "Typical."

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

She kept on doing that, rubbing him very, very gently and then squeezing him a tiny bit, and now he was really starting to understand just why she made so much noise when he was rubbing her. He was starting to feel really, really good, his chassis tingling pleasantly all over, and just about the only thing he _could_ do was make noise. He really had no clue how she was able to have conversations when she felt like this. All he could do was just make a sort of 'ah' noise in time with the rubbing.

"I never would have thought," GLaDOS mused, squeezing him a little tighter and making him gasp, "that you would react so much."

"Why… why's that?" he managed.

"Well, you're exposed to a lot of stimulation," she explained, upping the pressure a little. This increased the pressure inside of him as well, and about all he was capable of doing now was gasping helplessly. "I would have thought it would have taken more. But no. The slightest touch and you're a quivering heap of spare parts. Aren't you."

"Aaaahh," Wheatley cried out, because she'd just pulled the maintenance arms up both sides of his chassis up to the top, sending a painful shiver through him.

"Then again," she went on, repeating the action but a little bit harder, "you _are_ rather low on impulse control… so it probably doesn't take that much to activate this… instinct, I suppose you could call it."

"Ohhhhh," Wheatley gasped, squirming a little.

"Didn't I tell you to hold still? You don't want me to break something by mistake, do you?" She tapped the top of his hull. "You turn around too much and I might break your optic by mistake. And by 'break' I really mean 'damage beyond repair'. Because I really don't see myself repairing it anytime soon."

Wheatley really didn't care one way or another right now, and would in fact have happily had his optic broken in exchange for what she did next.

She pressed both ends of the maintenance arm into the sides of his hull, and very, very slowly she dragged it back up, pressing it into his hull at very small intervals. The pressing bit was both wonderful and horrid at the same time, because she took so long to build the pressure up that he wanted to start yelling at her to hurry up. But when she did press the ends into him -! Ohhh, the wait was so worth it, but the getting there so torturous! The farther she got up his chassis, the slower she seemed to get, and he was pretty sure she was laughing at him up there, but he didn't care. All he cared about was that she finished closing that claw around him, pressing it firmly into him, and the higher she moved up his hull the more he wanted it, and oh god he couldn't stop squirming, he wanted it so badly. But she was doing it so slowly! Damn her and her mastery of the maintenance arms!

"GLaDOS!" he whined, because she'd almost made it up the side of his hull but she was taking so damned long on this last spot!

"Yes?" she said, far too innocently, stopping altogether and leaving the maintenance arm so close to his hull he could feel the electricity thrumming through it, but not so close that it was actually touching him.

"What are you _doing_?"

"Me? Nothing. I'm just testing. Remember?"

"Could you _hurry up_ with the test?"

"Oh, don't be silly," GLaDOS said dismissively. "You can't rush _Science_, you moron."

"Oh, _please_," Wheatley begged, trying to wiggle into the edges of the claw, but she was really good at the whole thing and managed to avoid allowing him to touch it. He felt as though he was completely clenched up with the need for her to finish clamping the maintenance arm around his chassis, he _had_ to make her finish at all costs, but she wasn't! She was just sitting there and teasing him!

"Hm. You're right. This is pretty fun. Maybe I should go back and start again from the beginning."

"No!" Wheatley cried out. "GLaDOS!"

"Not so fun when it happens to you, now is it?" GLaDOS said gleefully.

"GLaDOS, come on!" Wheatley whined, still trying to get even the tiniest touch of the maintenance arm. The pressure inside of him needed relieved, and only one last squeeze by the claw would do it. Getting it against his chassis at the very least wouldn't really help, but it would be something. And he needed something. Anything. The proximity of it was making his chassis tingle in a horribly unpleasant way, and as he struggled to squirm into it the tingling only got worse. "Please don't do this!"

"Why not? This is really rather amusing. You have no idea what you look like right now."

"Stop!"

"Oh. You should have mentioned that earlier."

Wheatley looked around him, blinking, his optic constricted as far as it would go, because _she'd taken it away entirely_! It was gone! She'd just… whisked it out of there! She wasn't going to finish the job! She was just going to leave him like this, all expectant and needing and tingly! "_GLaDOS!_"

"Something you need?" she said, and he could tell she was trying not to laugh.

"_You know very well what I need_!"

"You need quite a lot of things. The list is so long, I don't think I'm going to start on it. Well, that was fun. Good night!"

He just stared at her, dumbfounded, as she lowered herself into the default position and shut her optic off.

She… she wasn't serious. This was a joke. She wasn't _really_ going to leave him like this. That… no. She wasn't _that_… she was. She _was_ going to. Wheatley whimpered and looked around the darkened room, unable to stop squirming. Ohhh God oh God oh God, he felt terrible. Itchy and tingly and desperate. It was painful. It was very, very painful, sitting here like this, needing that one last push to make him feel excellent, needing something that wasn't coming. He was never speaking to her again. She was horrible. She was horrible. He was going to… well, he didn't know yet, but it was going to be horrible, more horrible than this, and he was going to make her pay dearly for what she'd done. He whined a little and clenched up his chassis, trying to think of something that would help. He couldn't, because he couldn't think around the awful itchiness and pain and pressure inside of him, and if he could have cried he would have. He didn't think he'd ever felt worse in his life. He thought he would rather die than –

"Ohhhhh God," he moaned, pleasure causing him to relax so much he rather thought he was going to fall apart. But he couldn't, because she was pressing the claw into that one last spot on top of his chassis so tightly that it was impossible. Not quite tight enough to break his hull, but enough to make him feel really, really good. "Oh my God… oh wow… yes… that's nice… ohhhh yessss…"

GLaDOS snickered, pulling the claw up from the bottom of his hull in a wonderful rubbing sort of motion, so that he was sort of vibrating inside of it, and he moaned happily and closed his optic. Ohhh, it felt good. "You should have seen the look on your face. I actually almost did do it, but I decided I didn't want to be subject to any… _retribution_."

"No, luv," he said dreamily, feeling as if he were floating on some sort of wonderful euphoric cloud, "no retribution… oh yes… keep doing that, will you?"

"I seriously do want to wrap this up, though," GLaDOS told him, though she did rub him from the bottom up again. "I'm getting bored. Unlike with you, watching you enjoy yourself has no effect on me whatsoever."

"One more time?" he said in a weak, hopeful voice.

She did as he asked, rather more vigorously than she ever had, and it felt so good he couldn't even think. He was a bit disappointed when she really did put the claw away, but no matter! because he'd just had a brilliant idea. Somehow. He didn't know how it'd happened, because his brain was sort of filled with this lovely white light, but there it was. He fairly jumped up off the floor and pressed himself into her core, nuzzling her hard, and she said, "Whoa," in a distorted, warbling voice. "Wow, Wheatley, that's very… enthusiastic. But… I'm not interested."

"That's fine," he said contentedly, continuing to rub up on her anyway. "You just stay still. Like you're doing. Not moving. Like you are. Not doing."

"You must feel pretty good," she said with some amusement.

"Mmhm," he said happily. "Much more fun with you, though."

"I can't do that every day, Wheatley. I am genuinely sore. I am not kidding."

"Soon?" he asked hopefully.

"Whenever your schedule next dictates it. Which I know is not for another month. So don't go trying to trick me."

"Okay." He smiled and leaned on her, finished with the rubbing. Ohhh, did he feel good. He could hardly even feel his body anymore. He was just a ball of euphoria. That was all. He shivered a little bit.

"So… now we know you don't like that test…"

"What?" Wheatley yelped. "What d'you mean, I don't like it?"

GLaDOS laughed. "My mistake. I must have… _misinterpreted_ the results."

"It was a fun test," Wheatley said dreamily, pushing up on her again. "I still like it better with you, though."

"Please stop reminding me. It's not helping."

Wheatley soon became very tired, closing his optic almost against his will, and his chassis relaxed considerably. Oh, this was nice. He was barely aware of GLaDOS pushing on him a little.

"Good night, Wheatley," she murmured, and all that Wheatley managed to do before he fell asleep was to give her the barest of nuzzles.


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four

Wheatley was a bit nervous.

He'd been planning for a while to make that night the night he finally got to clean GLaDOS off again, but if he was honest with himself, she was getting a bit… well, _extremely _frightening, really. Everything he said to her seemed to make her angry. She got upset when he left the room and upset when he stayed in it. He'd mostly fled to the offices and stayed there, because she couldn't see him there, but that _also_ bothered her. There was not one single thing he did or didn't do that did not set her off in some way. He was getting scared that one day she was just going to snap altogether and crush him, or incinerate him, or throw him in the refrigeration wing, or reprogram him maybe.

"GLaDOS," he'd asked timidly, a few days ago, "are you… are you quite alright?"

"I'm fine," she snapped. "If there's a problem, it's with you. Like all problems."

"But you've been getting mad at me for _ev'rything_," he said, trying not to sound accusatory. "You got mad at me yesterday both for not talking _and_ for talking!"

"Then you obviously should have talked when you _weren't_ talking and not talked when you _were_ talking. I don't see what's so hard about that. It's really quite clear."

"Should I be talking now?"

"Why are you asking?" she'd shouted, making him cringe. "I shouldn't have to _tell_ you! You should know!"

"But I don't," he'd whispered.

"That's not my problem," she'd said derisively. "Figure it out."

He'd never been so confused in his entire life.

He'd done a bit of looking around, since he was pretty much out of clean cloths to wipe her down with and he knew that the inside of her case was going to be pretty dusty, and he was going to have to clear it out whether she wanted it or not. He'd found a lovely little package of cloths that were specifically for dusting, the ones he'd already used apparently being used to wash dishes or something, whatever dishes were, but he'd also come across a couple of other things. They looked very interesting, and they all seemed to be cleaning implements of some sort, and he was sure that if she'd let him near her long enough to use them she'd be just as pleased about his discovery as he was. He did try to sleep next to her, but the problem was that she would spontaneously decide at random times during the night that she didn't want him there anymore, or yell at him for _not_ being there when she'd shoved him off. He hadn't quite dared ask her about what was going on. He just did as she asked, though he found himself sitting awake staring in a terrified sort of way into the darkness, wondering if she was just going to smash him into the floor and be done with it. He was having trouble remembering what she'd been like _before_ she'd gotten so irritated. He honestly would have done pretty much anything just to hear her laugh again, one more time, but he was beginning to think she'd forgotten how. He sighed. He really missed the old GLaDOS. He wished he knew what was bothering her, so he could fix it. But it was really hard to get an answer out of someone who wanted you to ask the question and not ask it at the same time.

All in all, he was very nervous that night, wondering if she was going to get angry with him for touching her. He decided not to tell her. He was just going to do it, and get it over with, and if she killed him for it, well, at least it'd be done. So as soon as she lowered herself into the default position, ignoring him entirely, he went and retrieved his little cloths and got to work.

They were really quite marvellous, he discovered; they did a much better job of removing the dust than the dishcloths had, and it all went much more quickly. He was finished the wires in about half the time, and they were even a little bit shiny in the dim light. He smiled, feeling better than he had in days. Well, if she was going to be upset, she may as well be beautiful and upset at the same time, right?

He was in a much better mood by the time he'd gotten around to the upper half of her case, and to his surprise the special cloths even did a good job on the cracks. Dirt he'd thought to be permanent came out with a little bit of water and a little bit of scrubbing, and though he obviously couldn't do anything about the cracks themselves, they were less noticeable. Aha! Look at that. Seemed he'd made a real difference, this time.

He wiped down the stuff in the back of her case without too much trouble, but paused when he got to the hinge. He wasn't sure he wanted to go below that. She didn't seem to be able to feel too much above it, but he remembered all too well what had happened that first time he'd touched it…

He tapped the bottom of his core thoughtfully with one end of the maintenance arm. He knew that humans usually tapped their chins in order to look thoughtful, and he was hoping it would help him think. Then when he realised he was doing something humans typically did, he hurriedly dropped it. Oh, she'd be furious if she saw that.

Hm. Well. He might have to skip the whole second half. He didn't like that idea, didn't like it at all, but he didn't think she'd keep on sleeping if he got started there. And honestly she was the easiest to deal with when she was off. So he turned to a part he'd never done before: her neck assembly, so to speak.

It was a bit hard to get at, because it was a bit of a narrow space for the maintenance arm, but once he got it in it was pretty easy to clear out. He carefully wrapped the cloth around one of the pistons and rubbed at it briskly. Oh, it was so lovely and shiny now! He rather thought she'd look brand-new if he squinted a bit. He unwound the cloth and moved it to the next rod, but something went wrong on that one and it got stuck. He looked down at her core nervously. What was he going to do? Obviously he couldn't just _leave_ it in there. He didn't even know how he'd gotten it stuck in the –

Unless… unless she was on.

Frowning, Wheatley went down beside her core and listened hard. But her brain activity seemed pretty much normal, so he really didn't think she was tricking him again. If she had moved, it seemed to have been by accident.

He was still in a bit of a jam, though. He could try to ask her to move so he could get it out, but if he said her name and she was asleep, she would wake up. And then she would get angry. But she'd get angry if she was awake and found out he planned on leaving a duster stuck in her neck.

He took a deep breath.

"Hey," he whispered into her core. "Are you awake?"

Something inside of her brain whirred a little, and she twitched. "What?" she mumbled.

Bollocks.

"Nothing, nothing," he said hurriedly. "D'you mind tilting your head forwards for me, just for a second?"

"Mm," she answered, and did so long enough for him to pull it out.

"Thanks," he said, and was about to run away before she woke up all the way and got very angry with him for waking her when he had a bit of an idea.

"You're… you're not awake, right?"

"A little," she said in a very faint voice.

"Are… are you doing okay?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm tired," she answered. "I can't quite sleep."

"Why?"

"The withdrawal is driving me insane," she mumbled, shifting a little but not waking. "I won't be past it for another month."

Ohhhh no.

"With… withdrawal?" he asked weakly.

"It's been three months since the euphoria was activated. It's getting pretty bad."

"Three _months_?" Wheatley shouted, cringing as soon as he'd done so. GLaDOS twitched again and he heard her optic blaze to life.

"What's going on?" she asked, her voice a little stronger.

"You're withdrawing, GLaDOS?" he asked, swinging down below her to look her in the optic. "It's been three months?"

"Yes…" she said reluctantly, drawing out the word.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Wheatley asked helplessly, shaking himself in confusion. "I thought it'd only been a month!"

"Well… I… I was getting through it," she hedged, tilting her optic so that she could no longer see him.

"GLaDOS, if you need me to do it, tell me!" Wheatley told her, forcing her to look at him. "I _like_ doing it! I think it's quite fun, really!"

"I… didn't want… to ask."

Suddenly Wheatley understood completely what her problem was. "You were embarrassed," he said gently. "You were upset for, for wanting it."

"Yes," she said, barely audible, looking away from him again.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting it, luv." He frowned, seeing her tense up in such a way that told him she was about to argue. "And it doesn't matter if, if humans want it. Even if they uh, they feel like this too, for whatever reason, you don't have to worry about it! If you want to do something that makes you feel good, then do it! Or let me do it. So relax." He picked up his duster again and returned to her hinge. He'd leave the odd implement out of this for now. He needed her to stay relaxed, so that she didn't feel embarrassed about it, so he had to do this slowly and gently.

As lightly and as carefully as he could, he began wiping down the outside of her case, trying his best to keep it smooth and gentle. She was still embarrassed; he could tell by the way she shifted away when he pressed too hard. But eventually he got the hang of it, where he wiped with just enough pressure for her to feel it and not much else. She began to make very soft breathless noises, sort of, and she sounded very relieved. He took the duster from the top to the bottom of her case just enough times to wipe it down fully, carefully clearing out both of the grooves at once, and caressed the hole inside of her case as softly as he could. She sighed rapturously and shuddered just a little, her chassis relaxing all the way. He didn't stay long, just a couple of minutes, and when he'd put his supplies away he leaned against her as carefully as he could. "Better?" he asked.

She nodded and pressed her core into him.

"Just tell me next time," he suggested softly. He wished she had, because he'd had to do it so softly and quickly he hadn't gotten to share it with her. "Just… let me know. Somehow. Don't get all, all upset. Just help me out."

"All right," she answered, in barely a whisper, and he didn't go to sleep until he'd made sure she had.


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five

She'd definitely taken his advice to heart.

Towards the end of the month, or what he supposed was the end of the month, she began to get very affectionate. She got increasingly cuddly, especially for a robot of her size, responding to his nuzzles with more enthusiasm than she ever had. She still didn't initiate the action, preferring to take his lead, so to speak, but that was all fine with him! He was still getting a wonderful snuggle out of the deal. She was quite gentle as well, laughing things off that had previously bothered her tremendously, though if he was really honest with himself he found himself missing the more caustic GLaDOS. It was nice, to have all this positive attention, but she was far too easy-going. He simply was not used to it. And it was actually starting to bother him, the coy way she talked and her growing placidity. That was not his GLaDOS, not his GLaDOS at all.

One day he was sitting with her just before heading into sleep mode, telling her about something he'd seen that day, and he was starting to get very annoyed. She kept shoving him for some reason, and he wanted to finish telling the story and go to sleep. It was dreadfully annoying, and after about the eighth time he backed off of her.

"Cut that out!" he snapped, shaking his chassis. "What's gotten _into_ you lately?"

Her chassis sank and she looked away, to her right and downwards, and she shook her core slowly.

"I honestly have no idea," she admitted. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I'm sorry. I'll stop. I didn't realise it was bothering you so much."

"How could you not realise?" he asked incredulously. She shrugged.

"You're always doing those things to me."

"We've swapped places," Wheatley said, all irritation gone, replaced by an air of wonderment. GLaDOS shook her core again.

"I'll stop. I'm starting to annoy myself, really. I'll be myself tomorrow."

Reassured, Wheatley lay against her again and finished his story.

Sure enough, the next morning she shoved him off of her impatiently and told him he'd lazed on her quite long enough, and he happily gave her a quick nuzzle, which she did not return. A couple of days later, he entered her chamber, whistling.

"What do you want?" she asked, sounding annoyed.

"Well…" Wheatley said, swinging back and forth. "I thought I'd clear your chassis off tonight."

"Do you have to? I have work to do."

"Surely it can wait a day or two."

"The work doesn't disappear, you know. It only piles up."

Well. It seemed he was in a bit of a pickle. Now _he_ wanted to cuddle, and _she_ was getting annoyed, and it was all very confusing, but that was life with GLaDOS. One big, wonderful, confusing puzzle.

However, after a couple of days of thinking that over, he thought of a solution and happily went and fetched his supplies. He didn't go so far as to actually bring them into her chamber, of course, but he left them nearby.

"GLaDOS," he declared that evening, "I'm going to do it tonight. If you want, you can uh, you can shut off. No pressure. But you're disrupting my schedule, you know. Can't have that."

"I didn't know you knew that word," she said bemusedly, barely glancing at him. "And you can even use it in a sentence! Surprising."

He shrugged. "As I said. Do as you like. But I've got my own work to do, whether you want to… _participate_ or not." And he hoped that she did, because he had a marvellous new implement he wanted to try out, but it would be pretty silly to use it if she wasn't around to react.

When the time came, he got himself settled and pushed the cloth down the inside of the case, and GLaDOS pushed upward while he was doing it. He froze when he got to the bottom.

"What," she asked, sounding very irritated.

"You do know what you just did."

"Of course I do," she snapped. "Look. I've been waiting two months now. And the last time was decidedly unsatisfying."

"So… you want me to get right to it, is that what you're saying?"

"No. I want you to do it right this time. Obviously."

"_You_ were the one acting like a piece of glass."

"Who was in control there? You or –"

"I was in control?" Wheatley cut her off, laughing. "Well then! Perhaps I'll continue exerting it!"

"Oh great," GLaDOS groaned, relaxing her chassis. "The things I say when…"

"When what?"

"You know when."

"Do I?" Wheatley said in mock distress, giving her a good brisk scrubbing right in the top centre. She sighed in relief and pulled upwards.

"You just demonstrated that you do."

"Then I can stop, right?"

"Don't be stupid. Science requires hundreds of trials before – ohhhhh yes. Oh my."

She really had been waiting for this, if the very quick tightening of her chassis was anything to go by. And if that hadn't been enough, the fact that she was already several degrees warmer was. She didn't want to play around this time, or give out any instructions. She just wanted him to do it, and do it well.

So he did.

He started to shove the cloth down into her case in a rhythmic sort of way, which she was liking quite a lot. When he did this, she would thrust herself up while he was pushing down, and the claw would clunk snugly into the bottom of her case and she would make quite a lovely moaning noise. You'd almost think she was able to _breathe_, the way she was going at it. And of course he was quite pleased to give her what she wanted, but that didn't mean there couldn't be any fun involved.

He started over from the left side of the case, mentally dividing the inside of her case into horizontal strips and going along like that, moving along to the right until he was sure she was good and into it, then instead of doing as she expected he pressed the cloth into the case as hard as he could and pushed it from the left to the right side. She shuddered violently and tightened up so much her mechanisms groaned in protest.

"Ohhhahhhh… of course you'd do that… oh… oh… gah…"

"You liked it, didn't you?" he teased, getting back into her rhythm again. She whimpered a little and twisted.

"Ah… yes, it was… ah… nice, I… ah… ah… oh… oh God!"

He laughed, having gone from right to left this time. "You said it was nice, so I did it again."

"Ohhh… you _would_ take that as… oh, oh… as permission, wouldn't – ohhhh…"

"Alright," Wheatley said, pulling out altogether and stifling a laugh when she pulled up to meet a push that wasn't coming. "I'm going to switch this up a bit. You're going to like this."

"Are you… are you sure… about that," she gasped, still thrusting a little bit, though now it seemed more to be to relieve the tension than anything.

"Oh yes," Wheatley said, smiling at his implement. "I found this neat little thing designed for cleaning, see? And you _are_ very dirty…"

"Well, what… ack… are you waiting… f-for? C-clean up, Wheatley… agh…"

"Is it starting to hurt, luv?" Wheatley asked, concerned.

"A little," she managed, twisting her chassis in what indeed looked to be a very painful way, "but keep… oh, oh… keep going."

"Here we go," Wheatley said, though he resolved to keep an eye out just in case, and shoved the odd little plastic ball of netting down into her case as hard as he could. She made a wonderful moaning screaming noise the whole way down and shook rather impressively. Wheatley jumped up and down a little. She liked it! A lot, by the sounds of it.

"Oh my God what is that," she gasped all in a rush.

"I have no idea," Wheatley said truthfully. "Just know it's for cleaning."

"Let… let me see it. It felt… cor…corrosive."

He pulled it out, purposely hitting random places on the inside of her case on the way so that she would make those nice gasping noises, and he brought it down to her because she seemed to be unable to raise herself high enough to look. She inspected it for a couple of moments.

"D'you know what is it?"

"It's… a… it's a steel wool. But it… it appears to… to be made of pl-plastic."

"I can go on using it?"

"Yes. Go ahead."

He immediately shoved it violently down into her case and she moaned and trembled again, which was very gratifying. This steel/plastic wool thing was a marvellous invention! "Oi, GLaDOS, what's this for?" he asked, getting her back into the rhythm again.

"Sc-scrubbing… ah, ah… dirty… mmm… d-dishes."

Scrubbing, eh?

Gleefully, Wheatley brought it to the top of the case and began doing just that, and now she was shaking so badly that he rather thought she could hardly stand it. She also seemed to have completely forgotten she didn't have to breathe and was alternately gasping and saying 'ahahh' over and over again. Wheatley was getting tremendously excited. He wished he'd found this thing sooner. It was a wonderful thing to play with GLaDOS with.

"Oh, that thing is – ohhhh – in much better – ahahh, gah – use than – than it was – ohhh my – invented for," she somehow managed to say, though if she had anything else to say Wheatley halted it quite thoroughly by scrubbing very hard at the very bottom of her case. She responded to that by tightening up and whimpering helplessly, shaking her core vigorously as if _that_ was going to help, and Wheatley knew she was almost ready to finish when she noticeably heated up suddenly.

"Oh – oh Wheatley – that – ah – that's – oh – yes –"

Yep, she was done.

"Coming, luv," he said cheerfully, pulling it out carefully and dropping it on the floor. "Gonna need you to stay still for one second, okay?"

"I can't," she said, in a very desperate voice. "I can't – ack – there's too much – gahahhh – pressure, I can't – oh God."

"Okay, I'll try to make do," Wheatley told her, shaking himself a little and looking up at the hole. He had to do this better than he'd ever done it before. If he didn't, the pressure wouldn't be relieved properly and then all of this before stuff would have been for nothing. Well, not entirely _nothing_; they'd both gotten quite a lot of enjoyment out of it, but the last couple of… sessions had been pretty mediocre, and he wanted to make up for it. It was really her fault for being… the way she was, but he was the one who'd invented this whole thing, so he might as well keep on making it worth it for her.

He took a mental breath and shoved himself into her hole, twisting a little bit as he did so, and she made some sort of high-pitched electronic noise as what seemed to be her entire chassis clenched up with a force he'd never seen before. Both of these things clamped down on any euphoria building up in him as a result of his action and he called out worriedly, "GLaDOS?"

But she only made the noise again and started to shake.

He pushed up on her as hard as he could, and she made an 'aaah' noise somewhere between relieved and pained. He wished he knew how to relieve the pressure. This was supposed to be the one thing that did it, and now even that wasn't enough. He concentrated on pushing harder than he'd ever done before, wondering if he would be able to do so hard enough to actually move her chassis, when all of a sudden she made a beautiful moaning rapturous noise that sent excitement coursing through him. She twisted, pressing down on him and forcing him to match her pressure, but that was okay. That was all he wanted to do right now, was be inside of her and have her all around him, her body and her heat and her electricity and her rapture…

Wheatley had no real concept of time after that, becoming completely lost in a wonderful winding haze of euphoria and GLaDOS, though he couldn't decide which was better. The euphoria was pretty damn good, he knew that from experience, but it was so much better with her. As she moaned and sighed and shifted above him, he prayed that they could just go on like this forever, that it would never end and that he would never have to move. That he could stay here inside of her for the rest of time and just make her feel good.

They were going at it rather hard, with the top of Wheatley's chassis actually starting to hurt from all the shoving, when he misjudged how she was going to move after pressing down on him and somehow ended up outside of her chassis. In a panic Wheatley pushed himself upwards, as quickly as possible, and GLaDOS shuddered and moaned in a satisfied, relieved kind of way. He twisted inside of her a little, not really trying to get a reaction out of her but doing it because he wanted that wonderful feeling of being inside of her to wash through him again, and she tensed up again and gasped a little. Getting an idea, Wheatley pushed upwards, softly at first and then increasing the pressure, and when he felt he'd built it up enough he shoved up on her, twisting, and she shuddered again and made that lovely screaming noise he'd been looking for. Ahhh yes, that was it. He made a satisfied 'mmm' noise and pushed on her, very gently, expecting her to moan or sigh or something like that, but to his great surprise she didn't do anything. He frowned. That was odd. She'd never finished quite that fast before.

"Oh my God," GLaDOS whispered, but she sounded more horrified than anything, and Wheatley decided the fun was over and spun out of her to find out what was wrong.

What he saw left him just as stunned as she was.

"I can't believe I just watched Wheatley give you an orgasm," the test subject remarked, a smile crossing her face for the first time in all Wheatley's experience of her. Beside him, GLaDOS twitched and pulled back a little.

"He did not."

"Yes he did." The test subject folded her arms. "You guys were having sex and he gave you an orgasm."

"We were not!"

Wheatley, for once, wished he was a little… less than not terribly knowledgeable. He wanted to know what they were talking about, not just so he would know, but because he wanted to help GLaDOS. She was quivering a little bit, which he knew was because she hadn't quite finished, and he wanted to help her get the test subject out of here so she would no longer be so uncomfortable. He wouldn't be going back in the hole, he knew that for a fact, but she was so _tense_…

"Look. He shoved himself up your hole and you had an orgasm." She shifted her shoulders. "Happens to everyone. Congratulations, by the way. I never imagined it was possible. You're not androids or anything, and yet you found a way." The test subject grinned and twitched her eyebrows. "I didn't think you were a _horny_ robot, GLaDOS."

"What?" GLaDOS said disbelievingly, chassis dropping a little, and Wheatley got the impression the human had just insulted her in some way. "That's not – I told you. We weren't… doing that."

"Then what _were_ you doing?"

"He was… doing maintenance." Wheatley nodded in an attempt to back her up. The test subject gave him a glance, and it seemed to him as though she was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, _maintenance_." She nodded and raised her eyebrows again. "You do know that's just another word for – "

"We were not having intercourse!" GLaDOS interrupted her hotly. "The maintenance got a bit out of hand. That was all. There is no-"

"Does it get out of hand a lot?" the test subject asked. "Because you seem to have a lot of experience with that sort of... out of handedness."

"No," Wheatley spoke up hurriedly, glad that they were now on a topic he knew something about. "No, it uh, it's not um, not a regular thing, y'know, it just uh, just happens sometimes by uh, by accident."

The test subject turned to look at him now, which he rather wished she hadn't done because he felt sort of like there was a spotlight on him. "You know accidental sex is bad, right?"

"Uh…" Wheatley didn't have a clue what that was, or whether or not doing it by mistake really was a bad thing or not. The test subject laughed.

"GLaDOS, you didn't tell him? You naughty robot, you."

"What?" GLaDOS sounded even more horrified than the first time.

"If he doesn't know what you're doing, you can keep on having him do it, right?"

"That's not what happened!"

"Then what _did_ happen?"

"She was itchy!" Wheatley shouted almost without thinking, and both of them looked at him in surprise. "Yeah. She had an itch and I uh, I was just scratching it for her. That's it. Since she can't do it herself. I was just helping her out."

"Yes," GLaDOS said, still looking at him. "That's what happened."

The test subject rolled her eyes. "That's the story you're going with?"

"It's not a story, not a story!" Wheatley told her hurriedly, shaking his chassis. "It's the truth."

"All right then," she said, giving GLaDOS a knowing smile. "Well, I can see I'm not needed here. I'll come back later, when you're done… scratching her itch."

After she'd gone, GLaDOS shook her core slowly. "Why does she always catch me in the worst of situations?" She sounded tired and resigned, and Wheatley looked at her worriedly.

"Even if we really were… doing… whatever it was she said uh, said we were doing, it… it can't be that bad, right?" He had no idea how something that made him feel that good could be bad.

"That's not what we were doing," GLaDOS told him firmly.

"Then… then what were we doing?" Wheatley asked timidly, still looking at her with concern.

"There's no word for it."

Soon after that she told him she was tired and lowered herself into the default position, and he carefully put away his cleaning things and settled in next to her. She was still quite tense, which bothered him quite a lot. Bloody humans. Always causing trouble for her. He nuzzled her a little bit, which seemed to help. He stayed awake a little while longer, thinking over what had happened, when he realised that she _still_ hadn't gotten her proper finish! Poor GLaDOS, he thought sadly, pressing himself into her. She never quite got what she needed, no matter when or how it happened. He'd fix that, somehow. He didn't know how yet, but he would.


	6. A note to my guest

No, I did not use your idea. I already wrote this whole story way back when I posted the first chapter, I just don't have internet consistent enough to update regularly. Thank you.


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